Sleeping during pregnancy.

Don’t even think about coming to me with sleep complaints! 

Try being told you should only sleep on your left side as good for circulation, and never on your back. Try telling that to your unconscious sleeping body with a basket ball on your belly. Try waking up on your back barely able to breathe realising the advice was for a reason. 
Try discovering you are most comfortable on your right side, despite this being against advice about what is good for you and baby, and realising that doing so either a) hurts your ear because of your so badly wanted, but yet surprisingly annoying ear-piercing, or b) causes immense earache so intense that wakes your from your newly achieved sleep due to your stupid jaw misalignment issues. 
Try living with the hip pain that comes, despite having an expensive memory foam mattress, from the lying on your side conflicting with your ever expanding hips. Try rolling over into a more comfortable position when none of your core muscles work, and you’re surrounded with 5 pillows, all attempting and failing, to make you more comfortable yet are preventing you from getting a good anchor point to haul your-wale-like-self up from. 

Try waking up 2-3 times a night to stumble like a sleep deprived zombie to the bathroom for a wee Try avoiding the cats getting under your feet en-route when in said zombified state, in the dark, without your glasses on. 
Try avoiding standing on the sharp bits of plaster and other DIY fallout from the bathroom redecoration, that some how repeatedly miss the hoover, with your bare feet. Try getting all that way and realising its just Baby messing with your head, and in fact there’s very little to empty from your bladder, and you almost certainly could have held out and continued sleeping until the next toilet stop in approx 2-3 hrs. 
Try ignoring the fact that you will almost certainly wake up for one of these annoying loo visits about 15-20 mins before your blasted alarm goes off, despite the fact you’ve just dozed off again from when your husband got up. 
Try being woken up at 6am with leg cramp so bad that you nearly cry, and almost certainly scare the neighbours with your yelps. Try then sitting in the most uncomfortable contorted position busting for a wee for nearly 20 mins, battling between not falling over, squashing your unborn child, wetting yourself, or daring to move your leg, even if it tricks you into thinking it is relaxed, as the pain then attacks even worse than the cramp before that. 

I chose not to try sleep. I tried something else. I tried insomnia. 
  
Then try finding the motivation to go into your stressful and underpaid job, and maintaining a happy demeanour throughout the day, despite the fact that the only thing you can think about, and really have to look forward to, is returning to bed before the sun even sets because you’re so tired, only to face all of the above all over again. 
  
And try knowing that this is the best you’re probably going to sleep for the next 6-12 months! 


Rant over.